Even in my colleague’s extended circle of friends, more and more mothers (and fathers) are moving out of the family home and the children are staying there. I think that’s kind of weird, especially since I can still remember very well that I moved heaven and earth to get out of “there” (my parent’s house) after graduating from high school.

Here are some facts: 61% of boys (15-24 years old) in Germany were financially dependent on their family or on state support in 2022. Nearly half of these young people live off their parents’ income. Only 38% can finance themselves. Which, by the way, was exactly the opposite in the 1990s.*

It is also a fact that there is hardly any affordable housing for trainees or students – in this respect, the idea of “parents moving out” is actually quite smart. Especially since a recent study** shows that about half of the 14–29-year-olds are struggling with “stress-related burdens”. Apparently, since the pandemic they feel much more pressured and believe that they have it much harder than their parents or grandparents did to secure their prosperity.

Socialization researcher Professor Klaus Hurrelmann, who was involved in the study, explains: “You still want to live your life, but in uncertain times it would be objectively difficult to build a medium-term life plan.” (Translated from German) According to study leader Simon Schnetzer, young people therefore “feel as if they are in a permanent crisis mode that continues and leaves psychological scars. “** (Translated from German)

Well. Yes. Understandable. But it’s also understandable that older people are worried as well – just think of war, inflation, old-age poverty – only they are more resilient, perhaps even more relaxed, because of their experience (finally an advantage of being older). Their pragmatic attitude is more constructive and sometimes also much more humorous than starring at doomsday scenarios with great anticipation. And when I find a commentary in the German Spiegel magazine saying

“Your expectations piss us off. The old people leave us a pile of problems – and the advice to fight them with good humor and optimistic utopias. Are you serious?” *** (translated from German),

I get an idea of what is going on (with all understanding for the anger of young people):
Maybe the older generations, us parents, have made life a little too easy for you? And didn’t teach you how to deal with frustration, with boundaries, with sh…. Maybe we overdid it just a little bit with our non- parochialism and the desire to never become anything like our parents?

When I share this thought with our social media manager in the coffee kitchen, she laughs (again): “Maybe you’re right – I don’t know what’s up with them either. On the one hand, my kid makes fun of me when I can’t figure out a new app on my phone. And then, it googles how to boil an egg. Do you get that?”

I don’t actually. And while we’re standing there smirking and holding our cappuccinos, the little devil on my shoulder whispers, “Well, this was a very nice example of sounding just like your parents…”

Dear Mums, Dads, Papas, Mamas all over the world, what do you think? How are you handling it? Is the phenomenon “hotel mom” a typical German thing? Or do you have it as well? We’re looking forward to reading your opinions in the comments.

*www.destatis.de/DE/Presse/Pressemitteilungen/2023/08/PD23_N046_13_12.html
**www.swr.de/wissen/jugendstudie-belastung-durch-krisen-100.html
***www.spiegel.de/start/jugendstudie-der-tui-stiftung-eure-erwartungshaltung-kotzt-uns-an-kommentar